Rich Granny, Poor Granny

It's amazing how life lays out realities and lessons in a crude, brutally simple way. These lessons you can never learn in any academe; they just unfold before your eyes slowly enough to be understood and remembered.

I never experienced how it was to grow and live with a grandfather. It's sad, but I'm lucky enough to have known and lived with both my grandmothers from the maternal and paternal side of the family. Maybe fate has something to do with it, but they are exact opposites in every sense. One can easily appreciate their stark differences, and can decide whether or not a granny is/was better than the other.

From my birth until age six, my family lived with my paternal grandmother, "Wos" (all of us grandchildren call her that). I have clear recollections how she was then: hardworking, poised, frugal, and quite strong of personality. She single-handedly put up and managed a drugstore in the fifties, and it has grown into several branches. She was always preoccupied, always on-the-go, without sacrificing her health and social life at the same time. I know that in her heart, there exists kindness towards her grandchildren. Sadly, I can barely enumerate times when I can say that for me, "she's special, and I am special to her, because I am her granddaughter."

Perhaps she wasn't aware how grandmothers usually find ways to make her grandchildren feel truly loved. Perhaps, for her, she already gave all-out love to her grandchildren. I'll never know by this time, due to her Alzheimer's disease.

But Apu Taba, my maternal grandmother - she's different. From back in the 50s, she raised 11 children while her husband tried to earn some money by being one of the more well-known, yet simple, barbers in town. Anyway, Apu Taba became a part of our home around September 2006. In the short time that I spent with her (she passed away March 2008), I witnessed how one person can have so much love for every person in her family - from her children to her grand children, to her great grand children.

She was the first and last person to sing me a whole "Happy Birthday" song, one-on-one.

She was the only person who sang me a song, "How are you my partner, how are you today?", complete with her body swaying side by side.

She was the first person who greeted me "Good morning pretty red rose!" every morning.

She was the first person who let me know how it feels to lose a person I loved.

I believe that both my grandmothers love(d) me, but only one of them truly taught me how to be cheerful despite the difficult times, loving, and selfless.

(In memory of Flora Paras Flores, April 8, 1923 - March 22, 2008)